Hello golfers! Sarah Chen here, your Golf Instruction Editor for The Daily Duffer. I’ve spent over 15 years on the lesson tee, working with everyone from aspiring tour players to those just discovering the joy (and occasional frustration!) of this incredible game. What I’ve learned is that golf is more than just hitting a ball; it’s a journey, and sometimes, that journey involves navigating the course with a partner.
Recently, I read a fantastic piece by Ted Odorico that really resonated with my philosophy. It unpacked the unique dynamics of couples on the golf course, particularly the perilous trap of the “spouse lesson.” While it was written with a great sense of humor, it highlighted a crucial point: how we communicate and support each other, especially on the golf course, can make or break the experience. And when it comes to improving your game, sometimes the best help comes from a professional, not your playing partner.
The “Cheerleader, Not a Swing Consultant” Mentality
Golf is a game of constant adjustment. One day you’re flushing it, the next you feel like you’ve never held a club before. When you’re out there with your significant other, it’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to “fix” their swing. We see a slice, a pull, a shank, and our immediate instinct as a helpful partner is to offer advice. But as Ted wisely points out:
“The fastest way to turn a sunny afternoon into a cold war is unsolicited advice. Even if you can clearly see their swing looks like a person fighting off a swarm of bees, do not try to “fix” it on the 6th tee.”
This couldn’t be truer. In my teaching, I often find that when someone comes to me for a lesson, they’re not just looking for technical fixes; they’re looking for an objective perspective, a safe space to learn and make mistakes without judgment. That’s incredibly hard to achieve with a partner, given all the emotional history involved. Instead, focus on being their biggest fan. A simple “Great effort!” or “You’ve got this on the next one!” goes a much longer way than “You lifted your head” or “Your club path was all wrong.”
Why a Pro Makes All the Difference
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a student come to me, slightly exasperated, explaining that their partner has been giving them tips that just aren’t working, or worse, causing arguments. It’s a common scenario, and it’s why I wholeheartedly agree with the source article’s suggestion:
“A Golf Pro isn’t just a coach; they’re a highly-trained marital mediator with a bucket of range balls.”
This isn’t an exaggeration! As instructors, we provide a crucial “emotional shield.” When I tell a student their swing is “a bit over the top,” it’s a technical observation designed to help them improve. Coming from a partner, that *same exact phrase* can feel like a personal critique, loaded with undertones that have nothing to do with golf. This is why professionals are so effective:
- Objectivity: We don’t have the emotional history. Your swing is just a swing, and our goal is purely technical improvement.
- Expertise: We’ve seen thousands of swings and understand the underlying mechanics of various faults. We can diagnose the root cause, not just the symptom.
- Neutral Ground: If you take a lesson together, it creates a shared learning experience. You both get to be students, removing any dynamic of one person being the “expert” and the other feeling critiqued.
As the article states:
“When they tell your spouse their swing is “a bit over the top,” it’s a technical correction. When you say it, it sounds like you’re questioning their entire lineage.”
This is precisely why investing in a professional lesson, whether individually or as a couple, is one of the best ways to improve your game and enjoy your time on the course more, both solo and with your partner.
Actionable Drills for a Better Swing (and Better Golf Dates!)
While I advocate for professional instruction, there are always things you can work on yourself to lay a strong foundation or reinforce good habits. These drills are designed to help you, the individual, improve your swing mechanics, bringing more consistency and confidence to your game – and potentially fewer “tough breaks” during your rounds with your partner!
Drill 1: The “Pause at the Top” for Tempo and Position
Many golfers rush the transition from backswing to downswing, losing power and accuracy. This drill helps establish a proper backswing position and improves tempo.
How to do it:
- Set up to the ball as usual, with a mid-iron.
- Make your normal backswing, but as soon as you reach the very top, pause for a count of “one thousand one, one thousand two.”
- During this pause, check a few things: Is your club on plane? Are your wrists hinged correctly? Is your weight mostly over your back foot?
- After the two-count, smoothly initiate your downswing and hit the ball.
Why it works: The pause helps solidify your backswing position, preventing you from rushing. It also allows your body to “feel” the proper loaded position before starting the downswing, improving sequencing and control. Focus on making it a smooth, controlled motion rather than a jerky stop-and-start.
Drill 2: The “L-to-L” Drill for Swing Plane and Follow-Through
This drill is fantastic for improving your swing plane and ensuring a full, balanced finish, especially for those who tend to swing too steeply or cut across the ball.
How to do it:
- Take a pitching wedge or a short iron.
- Address the ball. Make a half backswing until your lead arm (left arm for right-handers) is parallel to the ground and the club forms an “L” shape with your arm.
- From there, swing through the ball, creating another “L” shape on the follow-through with your trail arm (right arm for right-handers) parallel to the ground. Your chest should be facing the target, and you should be balanced.
- Focus on feeling the club release towards the target and maintaining a stable lower body.
Why it works: This drill emphasizes the proper arc and plane of the swing. The “L” shapes ensure good wrist hinge and release. It promotes a more rotational swing, helping to prevent slices and achieve a square clubface at impact, leading to straighter shots. It also encourages a balanced finish, a sign of good swing mechanics.
Making Golf a Great Date
Ultimately, golf is meant to be enjoyed. If playing with your partner sometimes feels like a chore, remember the advice to:
“Leave the coaching to the pros and the ego in the trunk. The fairway is a great place to grow closer—as long as you stay out of each other’s swing path.”
Consider playing a scramble format, where you both hit, and then pick the best shot. It takes the pressure off individual performance and truly makes it a team effort. Or try a “9 and Dine” – play nine holes, enjoy the walk and conversation, then head straight to the clubhouse for a relaxing meal or drinks. The goal is to connect, enjoy the outdoors, and create positive memories, not to break down each other’s swing on the 12th tee.
Golf is a beautiful game, full of challenges and rewards. With a little understanding, encouragement, and perhaps the right professional guidance, it can truly be “the ultimate game for a lifetime,” both for you and your partner.
